Paddington Bear Writes a CV

Despite the childish title, this article concerns quite a serious issue connected with some difficulties one may encounter when applying to job openings and thus writing a CV for British head hunters. But first a preface!

You see, my little niece has recently become obsessed with the Paddington Bear. It all started with the movies, of course, and now the family can’t escape from this charming little fella who managed to move ‘from the darkest Peru’ to London. It is basically everywhere! Dozens of books that we all take shifts to read to my niece every single evening. I swear I know them by heart! Hundreds of pictures of Paddington she paints and presents to every relative, neighbor, and postman she meets. Finally, a giant stuffed toy of Paddington himself in his blue duffle coat and a red hat. Last Sunday, the whole family was also very happy to rewatch the second movie about this intrepid ursine character for the tenth time. In case you were spared such hysteria in your home and your child is not a fan of this bear, I will briefly tell you the gist of the story.

So this Paddington bear has an aunt (also a bear), who celebrates her 100th birthday, and he manages to find just the right present for her. It is an antiquarian book, that costs a lot of money. Our little bear has not got enough money for the book, that is why he starts looking for work. However, he is stuck with some odd jobs including sweeping floor in a barber’s shop. Not exactly the flying position, is it? My little niece, who has a heart of gold, always feels sorry for the little bear when she sees him stuck at low-paying and dull job whereas, she says, he can make such tasty jam by his aunt’s recipe! “Yeah, he could be a cook, earn a lot of money!” – my niece assures like an in-born motivational coach. Indeed, why could not he?

Well, I have my theories. And one of them is that it is highly unlikely that Paddington had a proper CV which is a crucial thing when you are looking for a job. In big cities like London where competition is so fierce little bears from foreign lands are not the most employable applicants.

This article is for those, who, like our today’s hero, aspires to land a job in the UK but doesn’t know much about writing a truly British CV. Is it that different from other countries’ standards? Yes, quite. Being a geographically isolated nation, Brits like to do things differently. Let’s take a look at what they are expecting from your CV.

They Do Not Want To See Your Photo

In America as well as in many European countries, you have to attach your photo to the CV. However, it is not a common practice in the UK. An applicant’s photo is believed to undermine the integrity of future employers since it makes it so easy to reject people because of their age, race, or appearance. That is why Paddington’s CV would not contain a photo of him so the recruiters would not discriminate against him based on his species.

They Do Not Want To Know Much About Your Life

Again, American recruiters want to know everything about their applicants! Their age, where they come from, their marital status and the number of kids. Brits could not care less! Well, they are reserved, so they do not feel like opening up about their personal life to strangers. That is why no employer would be eager to know Paddington’s birthday (he actually has two birthdays a year, on June 25 and December 25), his nationality (Peruvian, I imagine), or his favourite food (marmalade, of course!).

They Do Care About Your Hobbies

Strange as it is, but the first day you meet an Englishman he may not mention to you that he is happily married with two kids, but he will definitely inform you that he is an avid collector of vinyl records. Hobby horses are very important to Brits, that is why applicants are encouraged to share theirs. From the last stories I’ve read to my niece, I remember that Paddington enjoys playing cricket, cooking, ballroom dancing and also solving mysteries in his free time. If he is lucky, his mentioning of these interests could raise his chances to land a good job!

They Want Everything Standardized

It is all quite simple here. Keep it as formal as if you were applying to a job to her Majesty the Queen herself. Jokes aside, creative deviations in your CV could be not welcomed by British recruiters. Naturally, it depends on the company and the position to which you are applying. In Europe, they like it when applicants show their creative spark and that is why your CV can totally look like an Art and Craft project of some fourth-grader, but in the UK there are certain standards and you’d better not change them.

They Value Experience More than Education

In Britain, work experience is more important than education. That is why it usually comes first in the CV. It is good news for our little bear since he has no education whatsoever, but a lot of experience in making marmalade. In his CV, he would have to state only his most recent employment and that would be being a cook in prison (that part of the movie is actually hilarious even when you watch it for the tenth time!).

They’d Appreciate a Good Objective

In the previous article we’ve already discussed, why writing a good objective is very important, no matter in what country you are hunting for a job. Imagine that you were invited to the Buckingham Palace and your objective would be how they introduce you to Her Majesty the Queen. For instance, an exceptionally gifted little bear, who enjoys cooking, possess extraordinary expertise in tasting the products to make sure they are of good quality and is phenomenally charming.
Do not be modest!

They Care About Spelling

The Paddington Bear is from Peru, which is in Latin America, and if he ever did learn English spelling, it probably was the American variant. That is why he would need to make sure that all words in his CV are written in British English. It is a vast topic, but just for instance, in the UK, they have universities, whereas in the USA there are colleges instead. Americans take vacations, and Brits prefer holidays. There is a schedule in America, but timetable in the UK. In terms of professions, there also some difficulties. For instance, the American real estate agent (also a realtor) transforms into just an estate agent in the UK and American lawyers become solicitors here.